I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize