6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
