And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
