I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
