i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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