i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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