I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
