But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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