Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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