It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
