Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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