Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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