Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
