I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
