Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
MIDGETS
????
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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