worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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