Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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