sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
