There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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