uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
