Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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