Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
