There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
