I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
