..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is it penis luge time yet?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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