Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
