worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize