I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
