we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
