i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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