Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
