sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
