ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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