I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
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just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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