i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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