How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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