I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
