i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
