Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
