just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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