My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So much rum. So many feels.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
