You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize