My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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