i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
jump out the window naked night went bad
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
