so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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