forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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