video games are the ultimate cock blocker
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
