he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
