did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Im part way to drunk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
