First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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