he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
