Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
