either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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