careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
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Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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