I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
