I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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