i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and she was petting her beer can
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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