if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
