I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize