i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
